Sweet_gurl_17's Xanga

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:22:29 GMT

Never thought

You never thought,

You could ever get back on your feet.

Never imagine going back to God.

You felt lost,

Confused,

Did not know what way to go.

Then you meet people.

They try to show you the path.

You ignore them for so long.

Then they finally get to you.

They stuck with you.

You go back to God,

All because of these people.

All the hurt,

Pain,

They all go away.

Because there is healing from God.

You never thought you could be healed.

But now you are.

But now you just hop they will stay at your side.

And will not leave you.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:53:21 GMT

Questions and Doubts

What am I so afraid of?

Why am I so scared to go back to God?

I got everything going for me.

But I waste it.

It’s like I am wasting my life.

Why?

God knows my heart.

Knows my pain.

That is so deep.

So unexplainable!

Why am I so afraid to go with God?

Besides loosing people I love.

If I loose them,

Were they stopping me,

From doing my best?

Of living for my dream?

Doing what God wants me to do?

Why can’t I see myself like God sees me?

Why can’t I see the future?

Or can I just blind?

Questions and doubts,

So familiar.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:52:26 GMT

I wrote this poem for a friend.

Faithful

The hurt from the pain.

You just want to shut people out,

No one close to you.

Who to trust?

Who to believe?

You have no idea.

You just want to cry.

Be alone.

Let no one in,

You and yourself.

The pain is so deep.

No one knows.

You try to hide it.

God why?

Why have I been hurt?

I don’t know who tot rust.

Who to believe,

But my heart wants to,

Wants to trust.

Why can’t I just trust God?

Why did you make us,

So we would want to fellowship.

Want to trust!

God why?

I know you love me.

But why can’t I keep friends.

Why do I get hurt?

Is there a reason?

I would never regret you God.

Why do I feel so alone?

I want friends to help me.

Rea friends.

Just not over the internet.

Friends to help me grow.

Not hurt me.

God please send me some real true friends.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:34:00 GMT

Slowly Fade

If I could only wish.

Wish that the pain to go away.

No more pain,

From the hurt.

Just get away from the pain.

If I could only wish.

That my friends didn’t hurt me.

Who to trust?

Who to believe?

Why did I fade away from God?

Slowly fade?

Slowly going back now.

But the pain make me stop and think what I am doing.

Am I doing the right thing?

If only the pain would fade away.

But would it be worth it?

Do I know who my true friends are now?

If I didn’t get hurt?

Would I want to get closer to God?

Slowly fade,

Or not would it be worth it?

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 04:01:42 GMT

Pushing

How can this be?

Always pushing guys away.

Should I give up?

Try not to be near guy?

Will the pushing ever stop?

Will the pain go away?

Push hard!

As hard as you can do get them to go away.

How can they still like me?

How can they be there for me?

Only one guy do I truly trust.

I think of him as a father figure.

Shouldn’t that all I need?

No one else.

Why?

Why, do other guys care?

Why try to be in my life?

What am I so afraid of?

Will it go away the fear?

Why did God put these guys in my life?

What is God expecting?

Trust is so hard.

Why can’t I trust God fully?

I just want Him to have my life,

But yet I am too afraid.

Because of trusting guys.

Trust.

So not easy,

But so worth it if you trust God.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 04:00:47 GMT

Run Girl Run!

I am a runner.

I run away from people.

Everyone knows that.

I run when hurting.

I try to distance myself.

I run.

Try to run fast.

To get away from the pain,

But somehow the pain is still there.

I just want it gone.

Why can’t I just run?

Run into God’s arms.

Why?

Why am I so scared to get close?

Why can’t I just get close to God?

Why does the pain hurt?

Will it ever go away?

God help me please.

I need you!

I hurt more than ever!

I love you God.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 03:59:55 GMT

Bleeding

You used to love your best friend.

You were so close that you were another daughter.

I was basically adopted.

Just not legally.

It is all over.

Nothing.

Not one thing.

Can take away the pain.

I wish it could.

The pain will be there until death.

Afraid to get close.

How could this happen?

It could have been solved,

But they did not listen.

The pain did not have to be there.

I might as well pack.

Move on.

Only God can heal my womb.

In time it will heal.

I do not want to distance myself from Him.

Even thought I felt like it.

I just wanted to hide.

Run away!

I should have ran away!

Into God’s arms.

I didn’t.

I know I still can.

I got to stay strong.

Get closer to god.

He will never hurt me.

Always be there.

I do not want to run away.

I just want God.

To hold me.

Hold me tight.

To know He loves me.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 03:58:07 GMT

Red

No matter what I say.

No matter what I do.

The pain is still there.

My heart aches.

It bleeds.

I do not know what to do.

I do not know what to say.

I only want God.

He will never hurt me.

Friends can.

Friends will.

I just want God!

No one else,

Just only God.

He loves me.

He always will.

God please help me!

The pain hurts so deep.

Please just hold me.

Thanks God.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 03:57:14 GMT

Drip

My heart aches,

Drips with blood.

From the pain,

That was caused.

I trusted!

I say that was worst thing,

I have ever done.

Why trust?

They were so close.

I was like another daughter,

But now I was front stabbed.

Not back stabbed.

Just front.

We did not expect it.

The hurt will be there,

Until death.

I should only trust,

God.

That is who I should only trust,

Besides family.

He would never hurt me.

He will stay by my side.

He loves me forever!

I should only trust God.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:01:15 GMT

Away

I hate falling away

From God

The one that loves me

Never forsakes me

Why

Why would I fall away

Its so hard to forgive

So hard to go back on track

How can I forgive myself

I just wasn’t to run away

Hide

But yet want to get back on track

I want to cut for punishment

But I know that will get me no where

Only distance me further

I so want to cut

Or do something

My God forgives

Why can’t I forgive myself

I guess its time to start

To take baby steps

Then maybe I will have more confidence

To be able to live to my fullest

I am just wasting my life right now

By not forgiving myself

I feel so foolish

Here God take my life

Have every once

I don’t want it

It is yours!